The Badlands Are Treating Us Good

We ain't in California anymore! We got our first taste of culture shock in Jackson, Wyoming, where people who actually looked like Wild Bill Hickock roamed the streets. I guess I thought "cowboy" was just a motif. But they had real, live cowboys there. They wore cowboy boots and cowboy hats. They wore those kerchiefs like in the movies. And they had the cowboy drawls. Alongside the real cowboys, however, were a very wealthy and sophisticated set, many, transplants from California, including the likes of Harrison Ford and other Hollywood stars. So Jackson Hole, as the area around the town of Jackson was called, was hardly considered Wyoming to most Wyomingites. Yet it was very clear to us that we were in the Midwest. There were the "God Bless America" bumper stickers. And there was the fascination with hunting, the national past-time in the Midwest. We saw antlers everywhere we went. And not just on the dead animals nailed to the walls of every establishment in town. They were also in places you wouldn't expect them. Like the arches we walked through to get into the town square - made entirely of elk antlers. Oh, and "camouflage" is the new black this fall. Yep, we ain't in California anymore.

We used Jackson Hole as a base from which we continued to explore the Grand Tetons, hereinafter "the most  beautiful place on the planet." With no foothills to obstruct the view, the Tetons rose dramatically from Jackson Hole valley and the distinctive jagged peaks reflected into the lakes below and could be seen from everywhere in the valley. Lodge pole pine forests surrounded the willow flats and wetlands - home to the moose we were determined to find. Wild-life sightings require patience and perseverance and once again, we had to work hard for our adventure. We finally hit the moose mother-lode when we followed a tip that took us to the small neighboring town of Wilson, where the girls at the Bagel shop gave us another tip that directed us to Trail Creek

The girls told us that the bull was often seen hanging around the lake, but we'd have to hike to get there. Damn. Another test. Were we real enthusiasts or just posers? We got out of the car and started walking. We saw several females and a young male moose on our way up the trail. But it wasn't until an hour and a half later when we reached the lake that we saw the bull. There he was, in all his cartoonish and majestic glory. Seven feet at his shoulders, and with antlers that were about 5 feet across, he probably weighed 1500 lbs. Awesome. We watched him until he wandered back into the woods and then we high fived each other. Now we could leave for Rapid City.

We hoped to make it to Rapid City before midnight. We cried "uncle" at 1:30 am, when we had only made it as far as Gillette, Wyoming. But we were on our way to the Badlands, and we found it prescient when we turned on the TV and Bruce Springsteen was on a new HBO special talking about making "Darkness on the Edge of Town." The Boss was talking about "Badlands" as we were on the doorstep of the Badlands. The forces of the Universe were telling us that we were exactly where we were supposed to be.

That was it for highlights from Gillette, an arm-pit of a city that supposedly produces "clean coal" (fewer BTUs.) You wouldn't know that by the thin film of coal dust that seemed to cover everything. It was hard to believe that the most beautiful place on the planet was only a few hours away. Wyomingites later told us that Gillette had no business being a  part of Wyoming. So stay away from Gillette. Unless, that is, you are still a smoker. Then you might want to consider Gillette for your next vacation. Everyone is still allowed to smoke in Gillette. And they do - in restaurants, in laundromats, even in the bank! We, cough, cough, left as soon as possible.

Our friends in Rapid City always seemed to apologize for living there. They had no reason to. The Badlands! Mount Rushmore! The Black Hills! What more could you ask for? Of course it can be 40 below in the winter and my friend Loren told me that her nostrils froze together last winter. Ouch. And I must say, with the exception of the aforementioned wonders, the area was PFF ("pretty fucking flat".)  Even Rapid City looked like a big lit up pancake in the dark. They don't call them the Great Plains for nothing.

The Black Hills are literally an island in the Plains.  The name stems from their dark appearance on the horizon that comes from the pine trees blanketing the range. These hills are the sacred grounds of the Lakota Indians, who to this day are still trying to reclaim their land. Needles Highway runs through the hills where we saw postcard lakes and crazy rock castles, many that we were able to walk and drive through. Bighorn sheep wandered onto the roads and four very prominent presidents were carved into the side of one of the mountains. Lincoln was my favorite. No surprise I guess; Lincoln was also the favorite of Gutzoc Borglum, the architect of Rushmore.

The Badlands were an even bigger treat. I had no idea of what to expect. I'd never seen a picture of the Badlands and I didn't even know that it was one of our National Parks. Honestly, I really just wanted Hilary to take pictures of me standing next to things saying "Badlands" because I love Springsteen and I think "Badlands"  is one of the greatest songs ever written. I was totally blown away when I actually saw them. They are like pink and yellow striped sand castles dripping into something that looks like the grand canyon. The bison  and the prairie dogs and the bighorn sheep were fun to watch. But the the rocks were the real stars at this National Park. That's right, they were rockstars! We stayed until sunset when the colors on the landscape just jumped out at us. The brochure told us the colors were "other-worldly." I agreed. It was like being on another, very cool planet.

We stayed in Rapid City long enough to don our fake beards and watch the Giants BEAT THE PHILLIES in Game 1 of the NLCS. We then said goodbye to our gracious hosts, William and Loren and Oliver, and headed off to Minnesota for Game 2 (I don't want to talk about it.) But not before stopping at Cabela's to look for a spotting scope. You might want to run in the opposite direction is you ever happen  upon a Cabela's. We were clearly the only people in Cabela's interested in looking at animals. Everyone else wanted to do other things to them. It wasn't just the hunting mania that creeped me out - the hundreds of stuffed buffalo (not just the heads, the entire buffaloes were stuffed) and the gazillian rifles. What scared me most were the enormous safes that they sold. I'm not exactly sure why, but I think it had to do with my vision of the entire Midwest hoarding their guns and their gold while planning for Armageddon (or a second Obama term, which ever came first.) It was time to go to Chicago.

The Grand Tetons

One of the most beautiful places on the planet

We think so anyway

And those Aspens...

But we had one-track minds

The girls at the bagel shop gave us a hot tip

And it paid off - in color

and in black and white (we still can't figure out our camera)

A pretty good view of the younger male

Hilary saw the big guy first

He was right over there - but you'll just have to take my word for it (no zoom lens)

Did I mention they like to ski and snowboard in Jackson Hole?

We loved Jackson, but the streets were dangerous

"You see Ben, it's something new - they call it a patent"

Layla enjoys a good book before retiring for the night

Well all right then

Paying respect to our elders

In our own psychedelic way

Up just a little and to the right

These were solemn moments for us

Needles Highway, Black Hills National Park

Yeah, I know

My friend Loren having fun in the rock tunnels

The "Eye of the Needle" rock

Smelling the pines - butterscotch means old growth

Lake Sylvan, Black Hills National Park

The Black Hills

The Badlands Are Treating Us Good

Other worldly, no?

Bighorn Sheep on the Badlands

My pick for the cover shot

Hilary and William and Loren watch the Giants beat the Phillies - Fear the Beards!

Welcome to Cabela's

Where camouflage is always in fashion

And Armageddon is right around the corner

Time to take this show to Chicago

We'll be there in no time with Layla sharing the driving

On Safari In Yellowstone

Yellowstone surprised and excited in so many ways. This was my first experience in the United State's first National Park. I knew that people came from all over the world to see this gem.  But I hadn't heard that it was called the "American Serengeti." I would quickly understand how apt the description really was.

We drove to Yellowstone from Butte Montana in beautiful 78 degree temps. It was so warm that we stopped at a beach along the Madison River just outside of the west entrance to the park. It wasn't long before the eagles started soaring overhead. First a pair of adults and then a juvenile. We had hiked about a quarter of a mile along the only narrow path leading to the beach, and once we were there we felt very isolated. I couldn't help thinking about the grizzly bear maulings that had occurred a couple of months earlier at a campground outside of Yellowstone. Were we close? I wasn't sure. Humans are rarely attacked and killed by grizzlies. Yet it had happened.... My concerns were heightened when Louis Leakey, I mean Hilary, discovered the skeleton of an elk just off the path that was our only escape route. Yikes! Yellowstone was the real deal. We made our way back to the car, warding off potential attacks by singing songs to alert any lurking predators. Hilary instructed me that once attacked, however, I shouldn't run or make any noise at all. Rather, I was to lie face-down with legs and arms spread. Why? Hopefully to save at least a limb or two. Comforting thoughts as I picked up the pace.

The advantages of seeing Yellowstone in the fall included fewer crowds.  But we didn't know that fewer crowds meant fewer opened campgrounds. And because it was late it the day (it seems we are chronically late for everything,) our options were pretty limited. So our campsite was not ideal.  It was exposed to the rest of the campground, it was close to the road, and we were surrounded by RVs the size of Muni buses. To make matters worse, our air mattress deflated in the middle of our first night (we suspect Layla) and we ended up sleeping on the very cold (30 degrees,) very hard ground. I felt 100 years old getting out of our tent the next morning. And the sound of those f___ing RV generators... But we eventually settled in and even after the nicer campsites opened up, the trouble of re-locating didn't seem worth it.  We were bonding with our neighbors and the elk regularly walked through our campsite. All in all, "it was the best of campsites, it was the worst of campsites."

On our way to get a new air mattress, we stopped to watch a herd of elk and chatted up a ranger who told us about a grizzly and her cubs that were in the opposite direction of the sporting store we were headed towards. Screeech. Stop the presses. We turned the car around and had a new mission.  And that's pretty much the way it went for us in Yellowstone. We'd get a hot tip and we'd go for it.  On that particular day, we never found the griz (please note the local vernacular) but we were directed to the Lamar Valley where wolves were supposed to be eating the carcass of an elk. We were all over it.

When we arrived in Lamar Valley coyotes were on the carcass, but we didn't have to wait long for the wolf to return. She hit the scene at a full run and the coyotes were, in the words of Duane Kuiper, "outa here." This wolf was beautiful. She was a grey wolf, though her coloring was a tawny red, similar to that of the coyotes. But she was much taller and much bigger. We were told that she was the alpha female of the Lamar Canyon pack, a newer pack that included two darker male brothers and four pups. Apparently, the "group" had just become the "pack" because they had reproduced (there are people in this park who are truly obsessed and know everything about these wolves.) She ripped away at the flesh of the unfortunate elk while the coyotes hovered in the background. What a sight! We high-fived each other for such excellent luck oduring our first 24 hours in the park.

Back on the home front, things would temporarily take a turn for the worse. We had abandoned our plan to get the air-mattress in order to chase bears and wolves. So by the time we got to the stores, they were closed of course.  Damn. We were going to have to sleep in the car. Oh well, it would be a character builder, right? And how bad could it be after sleeping on the ground the night before? Actually, it wasn't that bad for me, but Layla shared Hilary's side of the car and apparently it wasn't as good for him.  We bought a new air mattress first thing the next morning.

Lamar Valley is where most of the action takes place in Yellowstone. Unfortunately, our campground was almost an hour and a half away, so we did a lot of driving. But driving is really the best way to see the wild-life at Yellowstone and we  never knew what we might see around the next bend. This was a true safari. We saw herds of elk and stampeding buffalo. We saw pronghorn  antelope with exotic tribal markings and the healthiest and most beautiful coyotes I've ever seen.  We saw eagles, albino red-tail hawks, trumpeter swans, river otters and more.  But we were in "big game hunter mode" and we wanted to see the bad-ass grizzlies. 

It took a couple of days. And the false alarms were sooo disappointing.  Once, I was so sure I'd spotted a bear, I was literally jumping up and down on the side of the road.  And then I saw a tail move.  F__ing buffalo again.  This happened more than once.  But just when we accepted that our bear adventures were a thing of the past, there they were - two grizzlies at one time - one chasing the other up the hill at full speed.  There is something that's both comical and beautiful about these huge bears running. It was close to thirty minutes before we lost sight of them and moved along to follow the next hot tip.

We were told that a really big grizzly had been on a bison carcass earlier in the day.  By the time we got to the scene, there were only ravens on the carcass.  But we were told that the bear, and maybe even wolves, might be back at daybreak.  So we got up at 5:30 in the morning and headed off.  There were already about 20 cars lined up when we arrived and dozens of people with scopes, some the size of a small house. This was a very good sign.  As I adjusted my binocs, I asked the man next to me what was going on.  I'll never forget his response.  In a thick German accent, and with the "Moonie eyes" of someone who'd just seen God, he said "a bear and seven wolves."

We had already seen the National Geographic television series a couple of times.  But this was the National Geographic movie. The biggest grizzly that most watching had ever laid eyes on, was standing over the bison carcass while the Black-Point wolf pack circled it. They were all grey wolves but two were actually black, and two were a tawney color. One of the black wolves would try to grab a bite of the carcass and the bear would paw at him and he'd quickly move back.  The largest grey wolf, the female leader of the pack, would nip at the bear's leg and he'd turn around and do a face-off until she'd back down. The wolves circled and harassed the bear like this for over an hour, but the bear never left the carcass. We were later told that this bear was a very "experienced" bear. A less experienced bear might have chased one of the wolves, allowing the pack to move in and surround the carcass, making it difficult for the bear to return.  But this big boy stayed put.  Even when he was full, rather than leave, he actually took a nap on top of the carcass. Even seasoned Yellowstone experts said they had never seen anything like this before.

Then it got even better. A second grizzly, a beautiful cinnamon colored bear, appeared on the scene. While the wolves couldn't make the big guy budge, they were able to move as a pack toward the cinnamon bear and chase her back into the woods.  They did this twice. The cinnamon bear was obviously an "inexperienced" bear. When the Ranger showed up and was filled in on the details, he paused for a few seconds and summed it all up with an accent that was pure Montana, "Well that sounds like quite a show."

We hadn't had coffee yet, so we drove to Cooke City, now infamous as the scene of the earlier grizzly maulings. The locals were understandably upset by this unfortunate event. It was a horrible tragedy all the way around. One man was killed and two others were injured when an undernourished female grizzly marauded a campground. To make matters worse, business was suffering because all of the campgrounds in the immediate area were closed and tourists were generally staying away. We seemed to sense a little resentment towards the wolves. I knew there was a raging controversy surrounding the restoration of the wolves into Yellowstone fifteen years earlier. Elk hunters didn't want any competition and farmers were afraid that the wolves would wipe out their stock. But some of the locals seemed to think that the bears had become more aggressive after the wolves appeared. They suspected that the grizzlies had less to eat because the wolves were competing for the same food.  Not so, according to representatives of the Wolf Project, the group that initiated and still closely follows the restoration project. They say the grizzlies are healthier than ever before. They point out that wolves, unlike grizzlies, are excellent hunters.  But once the wolves kill an animal, the grizzlies can easily muscle their way in and take over the kill. So the bears are actually getting more food than they did before the arrival of  the wolves. In addition, the wolves keep the coyote (their enemies) and elk (their favorite prey) populations in check. And the antelope population, previously close to extinction, has once again become abundant. According to the folks at the Wolf Project, the wolves are responsible for restoring balance to Yellowstone. By the way, I got most of this information by eavesdropping on "Rick" from the Wolf Project giving a lecture to a visiting class of high school students. Hilary joined me well into the presentation and when Rick asked the class if anyone could explain why the antelope population had increased after the introduction of the wolves, Hilary blurted out the correct answer (the decrease in  the coyote population was responsible.) I'm not sure that the class appreciated the input, but Rick and I were both very impressed.

While we were in Cooke City, we were encouraged to drive along Beartooth Pass, a scenic byway spanning Montana and Wyoming and called by some the "most beautiful road on earth." Mountain goats and Bighorn sheep inhabit the cliffs, some as high as 11,000 feet. We saw dozens of perfect mountain lakes and the views were spectacular. Then, another hot (literally) tip led us to Boiling River, where thermal waters rise from the ground and then fall into the Gardiner River forming jacuzzi like pools of warm water. We let the waters carry us downstream to the warmer waters and it was very relaxing until we tried to get back upstream. The guy struggling along side of us said it was the hardest thing he had ever done. I'm a criminal defense attorney, so I have done harder things. But the currents were very strong and it was difficult to move back up the river with my bathing-suit bottom intact.

After 6 nights in Yellowstone we were ready to move on. It was one of the best experiences of our lives, but camping is really hard work, especially in the rain , and our enthusiasm was waning. We were starting to feel like farmers with a million early morning chores. Sometimes we were exhausted by the time we left our site for the day. Worse, I found myself growing envious of the RV crowd and all their "stuff." I''d grimace as they smugly drove their noisy, politically incorrect Munis past out campsite every morning giving us those "thank God it's them and not us" looks. Enough was enough. But we weren't quite ready to leave the wilderness behind. We had gotten a taste of Grand Teton National Park, Yellowstone's achingly beautiful next door neighbor on a day trip. But we hadn't found the moose that famously reside there and we wanted to give it another shot. And so it was decided. We would stay a few more days and stalk the moose in the Grand Tetons from the luxury of a new base camp - the Motel 6 in Jackson Hole.

* Hopefully, our friends with zoom lenses will forward us some of the more dramatic events that could only be seen with binoculars.

The Road to Nowhere

And a Grizzly Find

Welcome to Yellowstone

You Never Know Who Is Around The Corner

Mugging For The Camera

The Mule Deer Are Very Cute

Tower Falls, Yellowstone

Old Faithful

Beartooth Mountain, Cooke City

Consider Yourself Warned

Dangerous when irritated or harassed in any way

We are getting close to the top

Very, very close to the top

And finally the top

We have arrived

Hilary with our neighbor Terry - we like him even though he has a big RV

Quaking Aspens in Grand Teton

Looking pretty good after 6 days without a shower

Hilary and Layla have some alone time on Jackson Lake in Grand Teton

This black bear walked right in front of our car

And stopped to drink out of a mud puddle

We think we are the luckiest people alive

Still the most beautiful wildlife of all

S'cuse Me While I Kiss The Sky

We made it back into the US last week without incident.  Some countries are happy to see us.  Before heading for Seattle to pay homage to Hilary's Guitar God, we spent a couple of days with a friend in Friday Harbor, the only real town on San Juan Island, Washington. We took the ferry from Sidney, B.C. while reading the brochures that told us to get ready for "island time."  I thought that only applied in tropical climates but I was wrong.  On any island, you can't just get up and go - at a minimum, you have to wait for some way to get off of an island. So you are almost forced to relax a bit.  That was fine with us - we've been on "island time" this whole trip.

San Juan Island is the second largest and most populous of the San Juan Islands with about 6800 people in an area of about 55 square miles.  It seems to be a fairly upscale community, although we did see a smattering of single-wides with confederate flags covering the windows as we drove around the island.  And our friend Bill told he thought he saw a homeless person once (he has lived there for about seven years.)  As we chatted with the islanders, I sensed what seemed to be a bit of an independent, pioneer spirit.  These are, after all, people who have chosen to live a little off the grid.  And apparently you get to do stuff here that's not allowed on the mainland - like running around and shooting deer with bow and arrows.  Sadly, Bill reported finding a victim on his front lawn last week.  So we were cautious as we toured the rest of the island.  It was fun to hook up with another rabid Giants fan while on the island; we watched the Giants beat Arizona and the Cubs beat the Padres on Bill's satellite TV while we were there.  And by the way, how fun is it to be a Giants fan right now?  I can't wait to watch them in the playoffs on a 60" screen in some bar in Rapid City South Dakota.

Next it was on to Seattle where the big event was going to be the Jimi Hendrix Museum.  Only there wasn't a Jimi Hendrix Museum.  But there is something called the Experience Music Project, which does contain the largest collection of JH memorabilia in the world.  That would have to do.  We made the best of it, but I have to say we were disappointed.  There were a few great film clips but it's not like we learned anything new.  But we did get to see the butterfly outfit from his last concert on the Isle of Wight and the white stratocaster that he played at Woodstock.  And then we played around in these simulated sound studios for a while.  Oh well, you can't hit a  home run at every at-bat.

I have to say that I loved Seattle though.  Maybe it wouldn't have looked as spectacular without the perfect 75 degree weather.  But it just had a great vibe to it.  In fact, it felt a lot like San Francisco.  And although I haven't been away long enough to get homesick, I felt the strong attachment I have to my own very cool city. We are heading for Yellowstone now - straight into an oncoming thunderstorm actually.  But we don't care; we seem to have excellent wildlife luck in bad weather.

                                                Can you tell where we are now?

                                               Paying homage to fallen hero

                                               So-So Experience Music Project

Fooling around in the sound studio

Drum solo

Mix-master "Mos Deaf" Hilary

                                     Hanging with our gracious host on San Juan Island

                                 Layla walking Bill around the island

                                              Lime Kiln Lighthouse                                                

Cool tree

                                     Getting ready for the Giants game with devil dog

                                      Big sky on way to Spokane